Par Tikum Mbah Azonga
Notre jardin est dans l`angoisse
Nos toits brulent
Et nos femmes pleurent
Finies les causeries éducatives
Et les chuchotements crépusculaires
Vivent les maintes définitions !
Nos seuls témoins résident dans l’ancienne paroisse s
Et les cathédrales gothiques qui pullulent
Seules les femmes connaissent leurs vraies demeures
A condition qu`elles ne soient pas séropositives
Lorsque retentiront les supplications épistolaires
Seul le gouverneur de région posera ses conditions.
Copyright 2010
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3 commentaires:
Good morning i find nothing special to say about this poem but i wish to correct some spelling mistakes:"brulent(s),paroisse,gouverneur(de la)région.wish you a lot of courage. louise.
Hi Louise,
Thanks for the observations. I have revisited the poem.
1. I have eliminated the additional `s` to the spelling of` paroisse` as it should be.
2. I don`t agree with the `s` you added to `brulent`. What the word needed was the `û` in order to become ` brûlent`. It is a verb conjugated in the Third Person Plural.Therefore the Personal Pronoun should agree with the verb.
3. I also don`t agree with your insertion of the definite article, `la` between `de` and `province` in the expression, `Gouverneur de province`.
There is a nuance between `Gouverneur de province` and Gouverneur de la province`.
Normally a poet would go for the shorter one because poetry stands for concision, precision , brevity, conciseness, terseness and succinctness.
Furthermore, the expression,
`Gouverneur de province` tends to be general and global in meaning, without being specific, like in the examples:
“Les gouverneurs de province sont chargés de la préparation politique des tâches qui leur sont confiées »
(www.ibz.be/.../provinces.shtml)
and this other example :
«Un gouverneur de province ordonne la fermeture d'une radio communautaire »
(www.ifex.org/democratic_republic_of_congo/.../fr/)
The following two examples demonstrate the case of specificity:
« Gouverneur de la Province du Kasaï - Oriental en audience en Afrique du Sud. »
(kasaiest.cd/photogouv1.html)
And
“Le gou
(www.lemonde.fr/.../afghanistan-un-gouverneur-de-province-tue-dans-un-attentat_1422417_3216.html)
As you can see, the definite article, `la` comes in when the governor`s jurisdiction is named.
However, thanks for your comments.
TMA
hello Mr Tikum Mbah,
thanks for taking my commentaries seriously and for having removed the "s" before "paroisse".i have seen where my mistake was.i read "brulants",adjective instead of "brulent" the verb.you are right.i respect the way you have explained why the "la" inbetween "gouverneur" and "region" should not stand.
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