jeudi 30 septembre 2010

MAKAMBO YA KOSALA

Tikum Mbah Azonga

(Mwana ya Kin)

Kaka!
Citoyen,
Tala ngai bien!
Na yebi te.
Ndako na yo eza na boite de nuit?
S`il te plait, kokamua!
Oyebi nga na lingi appeler
Ya poste de telephone na ngai ya bureau
Vraiment oza na makambo
Awa sikoyo ya Bruxelles
Mwasi na ngai azali professeur d`universite
Yo, na lingi mpo mosala azali
Mbongo ezali te.
Likambo yango, na lingi te
Alors, na kei mboka na biso
Eko zala malamu mingi
Mususu melesi na yo
Melesi mingi, mingi, mingi.
Oti kala malamu.

Copyright 2010

AN ODE FOR QUEEN ELIZABETH

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

(For Anyim)


Tough but tender
That’s who I am
And I make no bones about it
People call me ‘Queen’
But they forget I’m also the water jar bearer.

But in its place I want no ram
Humanitarianism is what it’s all about when lit
Especially when one doesn’t want to be mean
I can be anything including a sheep shearer.

mercredi 29 septembre 2010

FODDER IN THE WRONG PLACE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We`re the think tanks
Yesterday, today and tomorrow
We grow fodder for the cannon
And place pavements where there are none
If the president arrives but doesn`t notice
We remove each and everyone.

Copyright 2010

CLOTHES ON OFFER

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Not all clothes are wearable
Some are just for fun
And others, for window dressing
So if you`re offered a pair of pyjamas
Don`t accept it blindly.

Copyright 2010

THE WRONG SUIT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It`s in poor taste
And very much below the belt
So if you want to hang on
You must find your own life jacket.

Copyright 2010

HONEY FOR MONEY

By Tikum Mmbah Azonga

I framed it myself
But I din`t auction it
All I wanted was the honey
So, don`t link me to money.

Copyright 2010

LANGUAGE AS COMMON SALT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Discourse is one thing
And connotations, another
Don`t mix them up because
They`re worlds apart.

It`s nothing like a fling
Neither is it even a tall order
It`s about the holy cause
So if you can`t block them, then start.

Copyright 2010

SECOND SKEWED RESULTS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The early findings were skewed
Right down the line
No extrapolation, no inference
But bodice, yes
But also only half guesses and near misses
Nothing macro about it
Nothing whatsoever.

Copyright 2010

TWO DIFFERENT MEN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

There are two men
One blue and the other, red
To get one to speak
You must squint
To get the other to laugh
You must blink.

Copyright 2010

mardi 28 septembre 2010

YOU EMPTY VESSEL

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I knew it from the very moment you opened your mouth
You`re a man with loose divine origins
You`re empty about Hindu concepts
And totally blank on naturalism, theism and pantheism
Yet you come here and place your stool before ours
Aren`t you ashamed?
Or are you just papering up the cracks
And sweeping the dirt under the carpet?

Copyright 2010

THE WRONGS OF OPPENHEIMER

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I`m the one from Oppenheimer
I laugh at broken men
And cheesed up women
Every Monday morning
I alone walk up the wrong lane.

Copyright 2010

SLEEP AS VAMPIRE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Human sleep is different
It yawns between sun and moon
But if you compare it with the wind mill
You alone will pick up the pieces.

Copyright 2010

EVERYONE`S FOOL

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I`ve heard dogs howl
And co-wives bite
If everyone really claims a right
Then everyone is also a fowl.

Copyright 2010

THEIR ELEPHANT DANCE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I was caught napping
While the chairman spoke
When he finished
I was made to march backwards
Without trudging or tapping or rustling.

Copyright 2010

THE COMMUNAL FINE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

A dismal end it was
For all who came empty-handed
Anyone who left without their own child
Was ordered to return promptly
With an atlas, a shawl and tin of sardines
Returning residents were advised to return with
Party membership cards, rosaries and spare buttons.

Copyright 2010

A WORLD OF PICKAXES

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

This isn`t a hoe, you fool
Let alone a grub hoe
It`s a pickaxe
It may not be quite perpendicular
But it`s curved and sexy.

Copyright 2010

A RATTLED WALNUT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Let the naked ones come in first
Even if they`re peeved
As for the forgotten walnut
Let the vinegar tree be its witness.

Copyright 2010

A TWITTER FOR THE SISTERS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It`s not Twitter
It`s a twitter
And there`s a difference
Keep one for the fetid cross bar
And a second one for the Seven Sisters.

Copyright 2010

OUR LADY OF GREECE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We`re not Greek goddesses
We`re chained dogs let loose
So if you want another hand band
Light another candle for Our Lady.

Copyright 2010

SURPRISE GESTURE FROM MONSEIGNEUR

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I nearly had a heart attack
Just because of walnuts and dog food
Thank God, the archbishop in person stopped by
After his timely benediction
I leapt to my feet again.

Copyright 2010

THE NEAR MISSES OF KISS FM

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Not again!
And I mean it
Forget about the boiled beans
And the starved black cat.

But you can watch us making merry
And tossing our award-winning hats in the air
The only way you can stop us
Is by going to Kiss FM.

Copyright 2010

lundi 27 septembre 2010

JOURNEY FROM MARS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

(For Angelbecks)

She walked towards me
Her hair overflowing like milk and honey
And her Doce belt nodded in approval
Beware: Here comes the Leo
She breaks down all obstacles.

Copyright 2010

A MESSAGE FOR THE PREMIER

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We received the message
But it was blank, textless
Yet the Lord Mayor popped the champagne and toasted
Sure that the premier had noted it in the blue ledger.

Copyright 2010

ROOM AT THE VATICAN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I refuse to yield an inch
Let market men be market men
And market women, market women
If you come today and think you`re the church porch
Then, I`m surely the pope`s lectern.

Copyright 2010

MISTRESS OF THE UNIVERSE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

She saw her strangle the man
No one else was there
She buried his remains beneath the shrine
Today, everyone calls her the world`s doctor.

Copyright 2010

BIRDS OF THE SAME FEATHERS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

They walked in together
And smiled from ear to ear
None thanked God for being so near
That`s why they were as light as a feather.

Copyright 2010

APE MAN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Red tape is nothing new
Although not as bad as rape
So let every man have his due
What a man deserves for being an ape.

Copyright 2010

MARY, MY NEIGHBOUR

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I know her only too well
She lives on poached eggs
And attends mass daily
But she lacks a basic ingredient: etiquette.

Copyright 2010

OUR ONE AND ONLY STATE LADY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

She may very well be sneaky and lacklustre
Yes, her hand bag stinks of hog waste
And her pile on lipstick spells doom
But she`s the First Lady, the President`s wife.

Copyright 2010

TOOLS THAT SMACK OF INFIDELITY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

He couldn`t do it at all
At least, not at that moment
That`s why our pastor sent for the builder
But he appeared without his trowel
We then sent for the doctor
But she came without her stethoscope.

If you think life`s just a round ball
Then you mean holy communion is host without cement
For our man, what mattered was pure, unalloyed silver
Not even the new bathroom towel
That`s why if you bump into any inspector
Ask him to first locate a fresh water polyp with his periscope.

Copyright 2010

THE PRESIDENT`S LAST CHANCE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The president`s farm is vast
But it lies fallow
Shoots have drooped
Plants have withered and died
Insecticides and fungicides have made no difference
Harvests have plummeted; so has revenue
Work men are calling it a day.

So the nation is aghast
And angered by the many who just wallow
The other president wants all the bills that were adopted
Every researcher agrees there is need to act by inference
So tomorrow at midnight the nation will rise and camp at the venue
Everyone has sworn that everything will be reversed, come election day.

Copyright 2010

GILT-EDGED GOODS

(For Endurance)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We supplied the goods
And we handed over the way bill
It wasn`t the quantity
No, it was the quality: quality control.

If it wasn`t so much a question of imported goods
We would all be driven down the hill
But now that everyone talks equity
No one wants to hear about endurance.


Copyright 2010

dimanche 26 septembre 2010

NOTHING FOR THE PROF

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We've collected them, all of them
We left none for the prof
He never tells the truth; that's why
When he returns, he'll feel a vacuum.
The vice chancellor knows that.

Copyright 2010

THE DOOMED BRIDES MAID

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Make all the noise you want
Scream from the bishop's porch
No one will hear you
Not even the rector
So, just know you're doomed.

Copyright 2010

NO MARK FOR JESUS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It's not just an utterance
It's a message, albeit a coded message
Although you may have revised your tenses
You won't know in what tense Jesus will return.

Copyright 2010

MEETING FOR BATTLE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Hope to see you soon
Yes, when the time comes
But please, close the kitchen latch
And let in the family cattle.

If we meet, let it be at noon
Not on the bridge of Ikoms
But inside the house with no thatch
If the messenger asks, tell everyone we're in battle

Copyright 2010

QUESTIONS OF INTEGRITY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Still asking questions?
For how much longer?
Didn't you see the stratosphere explode?
Do you also want to see God's sky burst open?

Copyright 2010

MY STATE OF MIND

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I'm fed up, simply fed up
Revolted, peeved, irked and raving mad
So if they tell you again we're all for Symbad
Tell them they must first sign up.

Copyright 2010

CORNERED BY THE PLUMBER

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

(For Nasare)


One death led to another
Like some chain reaction
Today, I'm a toy without a conjunction
Yet, everyone wants me to bring the plumber.

Copyright 2010

SAINTS WHO SANG

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

They were the very last assailants
Planted, weeded, tilled and fallowed
If you prefer those they tailored
Then pull out your recent league tables of saints.

Copyright 2010

samedi 25 septembre 2010

DOUGLAS HURD'S CASTLE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Welcome to my world
Lions or lionesses
Bull dogs or silly asses
But for God's sake, don't mention Douglas Hurd.

Copyright 2010

THE DISFIGURED VELVET APRON

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I'm a jaded velvet disfigured apron
But one with no beefed up icon
And no compressed gas chambers
We were three; today we're one.

Copyright 2010

vendredi 24 septembre 2010

THE HIDDEN OCTOPUS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It wasn't mine at all
It was hers totally
But I still knew about the stretch marks
Concealed as they were in their carapace
Only the rich fool could have thought otherwise
Yet I struck before they arrived
All their arsenal of armoury meant nothing
That's why single-handed; I triumphed.

Copyright 2010

mercredi 22 septembre 2010

THE TROUBLE WITH COATED SPOONS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Tainted spoons are not meant for the coveted
For once they are let loose
They turn round with the fury of the mother hen
And break the eggs of their young ones
Thinking they`re spiting the early morning feeder.

Copyright 2010

DEMANDE ORCHESTREE

(A Brice Gabriel Mem)

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga


Il faut demander
S’il ne donne pas, tu laisses
Ce n’est pas la laverie ici
C’est même quoi ?

Es-tu devenu le canard enchaîné ?
Ou tiens-tu toujours à passer à la caisse ?
A propos, as-tu fait ton récit ?
Ou attends-tu toujours Brice Gabriel Mem ?

Copyright 2010

A BAG FULL OF TRICKS


By Tikum Mbah Azonga


I’m not a maverick
If you like, call me a sphinx
But if you care so much about links
Then say a prayer or two at the Creek.

Copyright 2010-09-23

UNANSWERED CALLS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It’s not only here at Ndogpassi
It happens even at Bonakouamouang
Whether it’s the Iranian fair
Or Toyota’s test drive
Phones ring and owners refuse to answer.

Copyright 2010

PRAYER FOR THE NATION

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I’m a Cameroonian
And proud to be so
Spare parts, bush fallers and trolley men
False prophets and life presidents
We have them all
So, God bless us!

Copyright 2010

VICTIMS OF CIRCUMSTANCES

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

She’s still here
Like a heavy stone beneath the stream water
We who came before are already leaving
She has lost her dragon fly
And her pilgrimage staff
So when the food gates are finally flung open
Who shall give her a safety boat?

Copyright 2010

ROOTED TO THE SPOT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

She’s still here
Like a heavy stone beneath the stream water
We who came before are already leaving
She has lost her dragon fly
And her pilgrimage staff
So when the food gates are finally flung open
Who shall give her a safety boat?

Copyright 2010

THE BALANCE OF POWER

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It’s too expensive a catch
And too remote a batch
When the boss’ genes become recessive
Don’t bank on me to send another missive.

Copyright 2010

THE POLITICAL CASE FILE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Let it stand as a case
But don’t prop its base
If Fru Ndi or Achidi Achu didn’t do it
Why should you want to force it?

Copyright 2010

THOSE WHO LEFT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We’re not in misery
No, we’re in affluence
So if you don’t smell victory
You must be lost at the confluence.

Copyright 2010

CHERCHEZ LA FEMME

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Tu m’as mordu
Et tu m’as maudit
Moi, je ne mourrai pas
Toi, fougère anéantie du diable
Tu pourriras dans les entrails de la terre
Damnée de la terre que tu es !

Copyright 2010-09-23

MAL DE TOI

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Tu m’as mordu
Et tu m’as maudit
Moi, je ne mourrai pas
Toi, fougère anéantie du diable
Tu pourriras dans les entrails de la terre
Damnée de la terre que tu es!

Copyright 2010-09-23

LE REVENANT

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Torturé a fond
Et pour rien
Il a rendu l’âme
Au grand dam de ses partisans.

Inhumé en toute dignité
Il a refait surface
Le voici qui fête la fête sans lunettes
Pourtant, il lui fallait ses lunettes.

Copyright 2010

A TALE OF SHORT PEOPLE

(For Ngoran Constantine Tardzenyuy)

Give it to everyone
But not to short people
They don’t deserve it from us
Because they can get it quicker
By just bending down.

Although their association has an elected one
He is single and without a dimple
When he marches up; it’s without fuss
But he must carry with him the famous litre
But mind you, he’s no clown.

Copyright 2010

MIME AS A SOLUTION

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

You have an hour left
Not a minute more, not a minute less
So, hasten up
So that you’re not caught be time.

For those not so blessed
The only hope is the princess
Unless someone has messed them up
To escape it all, you must mime.

Copyright 2010

ROOM FOR THE BOSS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Stand back from the centre
And roll out the red carpet
The boss has landed
Nothing else will move here today
Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Copyright 2010

UNSETTLED DUST

(For Elias Pungong somewhere in Europe)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Your passage made huge air waves
And caused endless stirs and ripples
But if Massa Clement had forwarded his samples
Moussa wouldn’t have sold his odd saddles.

Copyright 2010-09-22

mardi 21 septembre 2010

RUMLESS HAM

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I don`t like ham
Although I live in West Ham
When I thirst for a bottle of rum
At once I catch the plane for Rome.

Copyright 2010

ON THE CORRIDORS OF POWER

(For Mildred)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga


Life is not worth living, if not lived for others
And that is the plain truth
Don`t bother about the lame mountain goats
Or the sullen cave birds, or even the mortified henpecked husbands.
That`s a totally different ball game.

My Arian dream is also that of fosters
Whether they`re called Ignatius or Ruth
At the end of the day, someone gloats
And all the other Fire signs come out waving their head bands
I the bold WGS girl will rise and stroll into the Hall of Fame.

Copyright 2010

SELLING THE RAIN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Just spell it again
And do so backward
So that when you`re handed your reward
Never again will there be rain.

Copyright 2010

. CHINA, CUT DOWN TO SIZE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

China isn`t another farthing
It`s a thinned down potato
Stripped of all its appendages
That`s why it`s no one`s fool.

Whether its production or marketing
It can match anyone from head to toe
Relying on sea food and ancestral adages
The Chinese sure know how to pick the best tool.

Copyright 2010

lundi 20 septembre 2010

GOD`S EARTHLY CHAPEL

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I haven`t been to the Sistine Chapel
But I`ve heard its echoes resonate
And felt its tremors shake my entire being
It wasn`t through Proust or Michelangelo; no it was through Christ.

Copyright 2010

THE CAST IRON

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The wings are clipped
Fastened and taped over
It`s not Patricia`s fault
But she was the one who burnt the iron.

When the chips are dipped
And the Holy Father
For want of a better vault
Steals the show, we shall all be on the run.

Copyright 2010

THE HIGH COST

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

He tried to overtake
And it cost him his life
If you doubt me
Then step into the arena.

Copyright 2010

BABY CALLS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It`s an entirely new sensation
Too good for Mobby Babay
Let alone unlimited calls
Just tune in when the parish priest arrives for confession.

Copyright 2010

GUILTY AS CHARGED

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

(For Patrick Asaah Ndangoh)

What about the putch?
Weren`t you also involved?
Go and tell it to the birds
From now on, count me out of the mess.

Copyright 2010

SELLING AFTER THE MARKET

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Why ram it home now
When you didn`t do it yesterday?
That`s why your cork fell in
So, why shed crocodile tears?

Copyright 2010

MOMENTS WITH GOD

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I sneaked out just at the nick of time
Before the sacristan closed the door
The chief architect had just driven off
And the stove was still glowing.

Although I didn`t have a dime
I knelt down on the floor
And told God I was fed up with the stuff
All he said was: "Child, keep praying!"

Copyright 2010

WINNERS`CHAPEL

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

This is a star treaty
But not another treaty of Campo-Formio
Nor a willy nilly rejected drainage pipe
So, if you care so much about media hype
Then why do you comply the meeting is scanty/

Copyright 2010

ROLLING BANDWAGON

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

You can`t stop her
She`s simply unstoppable
You can only slow her down
So, don`t waste your time.

If you`re a new breed star
Then think her palpable
Beaten, defeated hands down
Because she staked her life on common lime.

Copyright 2010

MEMBERS OF NSUSI

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It didn`t matter that Shey goofed
What mattered was that Nsusi wasn`t poor
Nsusi had mo-ney!
So whether Nchari paid his fine of a calabash or not
We knew that he gave
And the president knew he gave.

He wasn`t booed
Not because his ways were dour
But because he smelt of palace honey
Confiscated honey which he failed to carry in a pot
But I doubt that he ever did rave
That must be why he said he gave.


Copyright 2010

RUNAWAY GARLIC

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The herb is in a hurry
Too full of garlic to hum
If you press tomato juice in its eyes
It suddenly springs back to life.

Copyright 2010

WROUGHT IRON OF BALI

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The die is cast
And the entire caste is dire
But we boys of Bali aren`t cast iron
We`re wrought iron, if anything.

Copyright 2010

RAINED INNINGS

(For Melvis)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Do it again
But don`t do it in vain
Afterwards, count your blessings
But don`t rule out your innings.

Copyright 2010

dimanche 19 septembre 2010

LABOUR DAY MEDAL

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Our mayor is livid
In fact; he's lost his bearings
He can't find his Labour Day medal
So he can't march on D-Day.

Copyright 2010

THE CHECK LIST

For Julius Wamey

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Don't add any more yeast
The love gauge hasn't levelled yet
Get to Poumougne first; then check your shopping list
If it doesn't tally; ask the delegate to vet.

Copyright 2010

SHAKY WOURI BRIDGE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The Wouri bridge looks frightful
Why shouldn't it be so.
So many politician's vain promises
And you think the bridge shouldn't wobble.

Copyright 2010

HOBSON'S CHOICE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

For Lukong Verla Usman


Revamp it or shut it down
But don't pay twice
Anyone who is wise
Will take you for a clown.

Copyright 2010

HOBSON'S CHOICE

samedi 18 septembre 2010

UNTIE THE ROPE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Come on, don`t hang yourself
It may be the blackest night
But the sweet birds are still on the shelf
What you need most is might, great might.

Copyright 2010

UNSADDLED HORSES

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Hot with rage
He blew out the candles
When he sent for the saddles
He realized they were still in the cage.

Copyright 2010

ARABLE FARMERS

By Tikum Mbha Azonga

My bed has no marble
No sea rubble
But if you depress the throttle
All farmers will go arable.

Copyright 2010

SOLID AS A CASTLE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

My heart is like a Gothic castle
But one without a tower
But nothing, not even Michael Power
Can make me rattle.

Copyright 2010

MY WIFE AS A CRUMB

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

My thumb is sore
And my mouth, numb
If my wife continues to be a bore
Then I`ll turn her into a bread crumb.

Copyright 2010

THE TRUE LITMUS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Men`s eyes are dangerous
And women`s smiles, lecherous
So if you want the true litmus
Send for the designated heir of Didacus.

Copyright 2010

THE SOILED CHALICE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It was nothing, I bet you
Only filth, sad memories and dirges
Only those obstacles blocked the passage
Panicky, the pastor dropped the chalice.

Copyright 2010

GRAMMAR IN THE LIFT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The lift was bad
And the roof, leaking
So when he started the imperfect tense
I picked up my jar and walked out.

Copyright 2010

MY MOTHER`S LONG WALK

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I questioned it
But I didn`t write a haiku
When my mum crawled back
I at once sent for the Parish priest.

Copyright 2010

PRAYERS AS COLA NUTS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Morning prayers
Said in strikes and not stripes
Are nothing but
The peeled back of the cola nut tree.

Copyright 2010

LIFE AS DEATH

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Life is death
And death is life
The new born come crying
The dying ones go smiling.

Copyright 2010

THE AQUATIC NEED

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I need water from on high
Fresh water
Not a piece of cake on a thigh
For God`s sake, you`re not a waiter!

Copyright 2010

vendredi 17 septembre 2010

SULTANS OF PEACE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We aren`t men from Foumban
Nor emissaries from the Lamido`s Sultan
We`re wise men from Treblinka
We seek peace, not war.

For those who live in Nvan
The Sultan`s museum has no ban
So, for the wise men, only Kemka
Can sow the true seeds of peace and not breed war.

Copyright 2010

TANGO AT THE VATICAN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It was fashionable
Even among Catholic nuns
To watch the pope undress
That was when nuns were nuns.

Today, only sisters who are affable
Can cross St. Peter`s Square without breaking the runs
And if they leap to impress
The pope plasters their buns.

Copyright 2010

THE ANNOINTED ONE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I can match Fru Ndi
Naira for naira
Despite the shattered corpses
The lethal weapons
The blackened honey poles.

I reggae come back
And does so without percussion
I can only pay homage
To none other than the anointed one.

Copyright 2110

THE FATEFUL MARCH

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We marched on
Despite the cacophony
The children hungered
And the women thirsted.

Three thousand francs was much money
Even for the tax collector
So, defying the exoteric cosmos
We stopped and prayed together.

Copyright 2010

THE KAISER`S WALTZ

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The dance was irritable
The wine, sourhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
And the women, free
That`s it.

Don`t ask any further
Pack your poor bags and go home
Tell them the Kaiser has belched
And the whole place stinks.

Copyright 2010

POULTRY AS FAUNA

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

There are messiahs
And there are bad Samaritans
But what really matters is
The helmsman without the helmet
That`s why for all the Mazelike hens
We offer nothing more than
Kangaroos and still bones.

Copyright 2010

THE SCENARIO

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

When I return
It will be the Feast of the Passover
There`ll be no cryptic intimations
No canon fodder
No cyanide guava.

Copyright 2010

THE TOTAL PRICE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

So much!
So much!
That`s how much
But do you still stop by to say hello?
Or do you just shrug your heavy shoulders
And walk the other way, unconcerned?

Copyright 2010

THE SCULPTOR FROM NGWO

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Francis is certainly not a praying mantis
He`s a modern day sculptor
He sculpts minds, young ones
But he`s not from Lewoh
So, don`t get him wrong
And provoke the rage of the Fon of Ngwo.

Copyright 2010

jeudi 16 septembre 2010

LE PETIT PAQUET

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Je te l`ai envoyée
Avec tout ce que j`ai
Merveilles, Mireille, Jérusalem
Et tous les saints déchus d`antan.

Copyright 2010

MY DARLING GIRL

(For Fidelis and Madeleine)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

You are my darling girl
And I know what I`m talking about
My God, how beautiful she is
So stately, so majestical
All the beauties of the world
All put together
Can not equal her
Let alone surpass her
This is God, in his infinite wisdom
Wao! Madeleine!
She hasn`t changed one bit
Not by one iota
Your beauty has remained in tact
For ten years
I only hope you don`t make other heads turn.

Copyright 2010

DANSE SANS OBJET

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Là-bas où les ganglions se disputent
Il n`y a ni frein, ni abattoir
La seule chose qui compte
C`est cette journée funèbre.

Copyright 2010

A LOSS TOO MANY

(For Pride and Lydie)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I lost my son
I lost him to the forces of evil
Within the twinkling of an eye
Where were the symptoms?
Where were the pains?
Where was the discomfort?
Just a tiny stretch
And my boy was gone.
Leaving us in the middle of the ocean
With no boat, no life jacket, no raft.

Surely this was no fun
For where was the anvil?
There was no tie
We hadn`t been to the proms
So Lydie and I labored in vain?
And I am a doctor to others giving comfort
Was this simply another Treaty of Utretch?
Whatever it was, here I was, lumbered with an unwanted bone
No music, not even Billy Ocean
Was this what I go for all my craft?


Copyright 2010

RECIPE FOR THE TOP

(For Ikose Bronhilda)


By Tikum Mbah Azonga


I will reach the top
No matter the cost to me
It may not be easy
But who wants the easy life?
Like is not a bed of roses.

I don`t want to flop
Neither do I want to go down on my knee
I don`t want anything fishy
I just want to succeed in life
And I want everyone to know we must carry our crosses.

Copyright 2010

THE PRESIDENT`S CAMPAIGN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Every blessed was dark
Then suddenly the lights returned
Those without feet moved first
Then followed those with over laden gifts
In the end all others congregated on the Market Square
Nobles, notables, the aristocracy, the clergy and peasants
It didn`t matter that the governor`s daughter was absent.

What counted were the voters` lists
That`s why the governor hurried back to say
“Despite the darkness and the light
Let`s all, each and everyone in his or her own way
Go out and register massively
And give the president another seven year term!”

Copyright 2010

DEFEATED RAIN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It wasn`t so much the blasted rain
No, it was the blacklisted hailstorm
The old man was irked that we picked it up
So he got up abruptly as if stung
And with one wave of the hand
Halted the rain storm
And even the rain
Aghast we gathered our garments
And promptly left the arena
Our tails between our legs.

Copyright 2010

MY SACRED DUTY

(For Amon Clarisse)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Success is an attention-grabbing word
Whether at Oxford or elsewhere
For some, it is an ardent wish
For others, it is a nightmare
Yet it is like crossing the unavoidable bridge.

For me it`s a nocturnal companion
I play with it and pray for it
It is my gauge, my yard stick
At the end of the day, that`s what my mentors demand
So I have a secret pact, to bring home success.

Copyright 2010

LA BEAUTE COMME APPAT

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Le monde est fait de déboires
Je vous le jure
Et à cause de mon destin immérité
Tout homme qui s`approche de moi pour ma beauté
Doit d`abord courir pieds nus sous la pluie.

Je ne vous raconte pas des histoires
Il s`agit de donner libre cours à ma vérité, une vérité on ne peut plus pure
Mais je ne suis ni loufoque, ni farfelue, ni amorphe, ni électrifiée
Je suis animée par les étoiles célestes et firmament éclairé
Alors, de grâce, ne m`accusez jamais d`avoir fui.

Copyright 2010

RENCONTRE SURPRISE A L`AGENCE

(A Marie Noëlle)

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga


Je vais chercher
Seule ou avec toi
Peu importe
A Buca ou ailleurs
Qu`importe tellement ?
Toujours est-il que je vais chercher
Et immanquablement je le ferai
A tout prix
Et par tous les moyens.

Le motif ? Mais cet homme furtif qui est venu draguer
Pourtant il est resté coi
Moi j`étais la, figée, amorphe et sans porte
Absorbées, très intéressée d`ailleurs
Croyais-je en ce moment au firmament ?
Ou pensais-je aller me coucher sans son toucher ?
Desormais je veillerai
Sinon, de moi il fera fi
Vous savez, en amoura il faut être doyen.

Copyright 2010

mercredi 15 septembre 2010

THE NEW RAY

(For Melvis)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Making a choice in life
Squarely and flatly
That`s what life is all about.
It isn`t for the faint-hearted
Or those with feet of clay.

No, life is meant for the type from Fyffe
Those who can serve gladly
But also draw blood when it comes to the bout.
Those are the rules of the game as intended.
Unless you are that, you can`t be the new ray.

PAINFUL SILENCE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Back home, they waged a psychological war
Screaming, yelling, insulting, cursing
But not once did they mention their son`s shame
For fear his wife might lock them out.

Copyright 2010

THWARTED COUPLE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Monday night was not too late
So we all filled the jugs
But when the bride and bridegroom arrived
The door bell refused to ring.

Copyright 2010

ENVIOUS FRANCIS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I thought honestly that the surprise trip
Was the beginning of a new chapter
Little did I know that it all came from the lip
So, today, who`ll bring us another rafter?

Copyright 2010

CROSSED PURPOSES

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I looked into her eyes
And at once knew I loved her
Today she looked into mine
And spat in my face.

Copyright 2010

LIFE OF FEAR

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I didn`t mishear
He threatened my life
In a world where sudden deaths are rife
I had every reason to fear.

Copyright 2010

TAINTED GIFT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The quoted price sounded fair
And the package, irresistible
But when I saw the rubble
I said: " My God! Shall she still go to the fair?"

Copyright 2010

RETURNING CITIZENS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Ice cream, just ice cream
That`s all I want
So if you`re long at the rail crossing
Be prepared for the wrath of the returning citizens.

Copyright 2010

MY HUMBLE PLEA

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Understand me
I`m not a sadist
I`m an activist
And that`s my humble plea.

Copyright 2010

THE WRONG NATIONALITY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Let`s be careful the way we talk
I`m not Austro-Hungarian
I`m a thorough bred Cameroonian
So, all you need to send me is a white piece of chalk.

Copyright 2010

THE SAND DRESS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

She stained her dress with blue band
Not to spite anyone but to commit suicide
Since their bed was long and not wide
She preferred to undress, all alone, on the sand.

Copyright 2010

SUNDAY, SUNDAY

For Gloria Hunniford, in loving memory of the TV programme she hosted by tht name and which I enjoyed very much, during my years in Britain.

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Sunday is my best day
It`s relaxing and not too stressful
And of course, it pushes me towards the Lord
Without my Sunday frankly, I`d be lost.

Copyright 2010

A CHEMICAL PROCESS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Can you xerox it to me today?
Or shall you sms it, rather?
It at last the boss wants di-thyl ether
Tell him you can only tap it on Monday.

Copyright 2010

LOOSE NECK

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

My neck is a sea gull
From its sides, loose bones hang provocatively
Where it ends, Mr. Michael`s cheese board ends
In the place of my nuke, I spot a white hanky.

Copyright 2010

ONE VOW FOR LIFE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I`m not dating her
Far from it, I`m only helping her
I took a vow with you
And that was a vow for two.

Copyright 2010

INNOCENT BLOOD

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

You didn`t have to tell her
Look at how much blood has flowed
If Jesus now questions you
What shall you say?

Copyright 2010

dimanche 12 septembre 2010

THE POINTLESS RETURN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

They came back empty-handed
Despite the numerous lofty promises
There was no refilling estuary
No persecuted Roman soldiers
Nor any angry housewives
Waving receipts of their meager pittances
Yet, woefully they failed.

It wasn`t the Diaspora extended
No, it was just president`s without vices
Looking for yet another quarry
The Pleiades may have faltered and reminded us of the colliers
But that was all then; today though, we had the bee hives
What we lacked were the remittances.
But they all came back empty-handed and so were trailed.

Copyright 2010

THE STIPULATED TRUCE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I may not be the vice chancellor
Or the registrar
But I carry green leaves
And wield a red flag.

So if you`ve read Mirabeau
Or struck the odd note of a guitar
Put all swords in their sheaves
So that in the end no new recruit will lag.

Copyright 2010

THE GIVEN OBJECT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It`s dark
And dazzled and splattered
And blown
And polished
And star-spangled.

But it`s not stark
Neither is it scattered
Nor flown
Nor cherished
Nor even entangled.

Copyright 2010

WRONG DOING

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

This is the epitome of shame
A miscarriage of justice
And the for ever broken white lines.

So who shall mend our game?
Who shall tend our summer solstice?
Who shall watch the international dateline?

Copyright 2010

THE VEXED MOON

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Today`s moon`s drawn looks
And agitated aura
Trouble me
In fact, they hassle me.

For what can feeble man do
Without its axe man
Without its mysterious reading lantern
But also without its tenterhooks
And without its overwhelming tentacles?

Copyright 2010

BLURRED VISION

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I`ll leave you
Now and for ever
So that despite the shifting mask
And the language of cinema
You may blur their vision.

Copyright 2010

THE CURSED BUTTERFLY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I cursed the butterfly
Yes, I did
Because it defied me
It got to my breakfast before me.

Yet it was only a fly
Lording it over a breakfast I did
It ate my food without fee
That`s why I wouldn`t allow it sit on me.

Copyright 2010

FACING UP TO IT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Don`t axe the man
Simply ask him
He won`t eat you up
He`s not the bogeyman.

Copyright 2010

GENERATOR OF NEGATIVE VIBES

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Danger at night
For that`s what it`s all about
The night, yes that night
With all its dark recesses
Its mirages, its trappings, its false prophets, its sour sandwiches
The hiding place and the charm
The macabre, the ghoulish, the chilling, the extraordinary, the exoteric
The bottomless pit
Final damnation
Hell.

Copyright 2010

samedi 11 septembre 2010

THIS ODD FEELING

(For everyone who loves the Oku Lake)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

My ears are numb
And the tip of my nose, cold
Should I dissolve like water crumb
Or should I like the Oku fisherman return to the fold?

Copyright 2010

WHAT IS AMERICA

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Yes, what is America
If not a large pot of clay
Made in a hurry
Then carefully stood on its golden head
So that it holds everyone else in its prism of yarn
And straddles its long periscopic legs of fur
So that they go right round the warm neck of God`s age-old world?
God help America!

Copyright

THE WEST AND THE REST OF US (Part 1)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Thanks Emile Epanty,

That is the real world we live in. It is similar to US growing cash crops only for THEM to determine what price they have to pay for them, and often to our disadvantage. Again, when one of them visits us, we wear specially made clothing and welcome them with music and dance. When our own leaders visit them, it`s low key and not even worth the mention on national television news.

TMA

Copyright 2010

THE WRONG SHOULDER

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Night and day I sang to her
I scratched her back until my fingers were hot
Alone, all alone, I emptied her pot
But at the time she left her last words were
Give it to Aldershot.

Copyright 2010

EMPTY SNAIL SHELLS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I was mad with myself
For I did not grow false teeth
My foes knew that only too well
So they sent me baskets of empty snail shells.

Copyright 2010

THE UNLIFTED CUP

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I fear he may annul it
That would send us back to Square One
Back to the drawing board
Then what shall we do with all the things
The palm kernel oil, the cam wood, the wine and the food?

Copyright 2010

INDIAN BRIDGE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The first one stepped on it
But didn`t look
The next asked a question
And got stuck.

Copyright 2010

THE WEST AND THE REST OF US Part 2

Hi Emile,

Another anecdote: I remember some years ago when I was still a journalist in London and was traveling to Congo Brazzaville during the civil war, I rang up one of the leading British newspapers and offered to send them a story from the field for publication. They accepted and when I got to Brazzaville, I realized there was a let-up in the fighting.That meant there was an improvement in the situation. When I sent the story to the newspaper, it preferred to use a replacement from Congo Kinshasa in which a soldier had shot dead a civilian. The idea is that if news from Africa is not bad, then it`s not news. Value judgment, of course.

I also remember once when I was invited by the BBC Bush House in London to talk about Africa, my interviewer became very blind and biased in the framing of her questions. When I advised her to visit the continent she was actually taking about in order to familiarize herself, she retorted arrogantly.

TMA

ANOTHER WIFE FOR THE PRESIDENT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I hear odd sounds taunting my ear drums
Then I hear the strident harp of David from afar
A short lady in white steps out and expresses her wish
She wants to get married to Paul Biya.

Copyright 2010

THE TIME BOMB

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

There`s something fishy about it
See for yourself
Where is the bottom part?
That means there`s no bottom power to it
Where is its log book?
Where is the fishing rod?
And you dare think this is normal?
Look, you`re sitting on a time bomb.

Copyright 2010

CHOIR GIRLS GONE BESERK

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The choir girls have gone haywire
So, don`t spill their last dregs
If your only hope is lentils and sausages
Then you may as well throw in the towel.

Copyright 2010

EN ATTENDANT BISCUITERIE

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Je vous attends à Yaoundé
Non pour quereller mais pour compatir
Il ne s`agit pas des trois derniers biscuits
En tout cas, pas là-bas car tout se passe ici à Biscuiterie
Et nulle part ailleurs.

Copyright 2010



Copyright 2010

PRIX D`ACHAT

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Satisfait ou remboursé
Tel est notre principe
A condition que pour le même prix
Vous puissiez vaincre la vie.

Copyright 2010

LES TROIS OBJETS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Voici vos trois biscuits
Pour celui ou celle qui les veut.
A ceux et celles qui n`en veulent pas
A ceux-là je les conseille d`y aller pas à pas.

Copyright 2010

BEIGNETS POUR CENT ANS

(Aux vendeurs à la criée de Yassa)

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga


Beignets soufflés à cent
Voilà ce que je veux
Alors, si tu peux
Achète-les moi pour cent ans.

Copyright 2010

RENCONTRE A YASSA

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

(A la passagère qui s`apprêtait à descendre)

Attends-moi à Buca
On est déjà à Yassa
Viens avec la voiture
Sinon on va nous jeter par la clôture.

Copyright 2010

vendredi 10 septembre 2010

THE BONDED CALL

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I`ll call you back
Not tonight,but this morning
However,don`t put out the midnight lamp
Keep the main door curtain drawn
As as a sign of our bond.

Copyright 2010

THE ROAD TO THE AGENCY

For the large Mbu (Baforchu) community in Ndokoti

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Nothing is stymied yet
At least,not at Total Logbaba
Ndokoti comes after
Just before `Gare`.

When all is set
Stand back as if you were Ali Baba
During church service, go to the altar
But don`t return home with your car.

Copyright 2010

ODD BED FELLOWS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Sand pits are not of different heights
They`re all as similar as mouse traps
But when it comes to media hypes
The Lord Mayor of Kumbo will open up all the gaps.

Copyright 2010

NEGATIVE VIBES

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Since it happened I haven`4 trusted
So just in case God`s bits of bread are encrusted
But if the Fon`s messenger asks why
Then why,won`t I simply lie?

Copyright 2010

jeudi 9 septembre 2010

CA PASSE OU CA CASSE

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Tu peux bien chanter
Mais sache que lorsque passera le boucher
Ton père ne sera pas fier
Car la machine politique se sera plantée.

Copyright 2010

OISEAU COINCE

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Il s'agit d'un nid sans fil
Donc si tu files
Cet oiseau de fortune
Elira domicile Rue de Béthune.

Copyright 2010

PAROLES EN L'AIR

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

C'est du Saint Yves Laurent
Par ce que sa parole c'est du vent
Le jour où on cassera la tontine
Il ne sera pas seule victime.

Copyright 2010

LE STATUT QUO

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

C'est une vielle tradition du temple
Et une médaille sans destinataire
Voilà pourquoi tout ministre sans secrétaire
Doit forcément passer par Etaples.

Copyright

DELIRE OU DELIRES,

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Rien n'est interdit ici
Mémé le cyber à haut débit
Mais si tu vends tes beignets à crédit
Tu seras immanquablement pris en flagrant délit.

Copyright 2010

TWO VESSELS ON A JOURNEY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

If it's not beauty
It's duty
And if it's not God
It's the devil.

Copyright 2010

THE PLAY STATION OF OBOBOGO

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

I don't want a play station
We have too many of them around already
But if you can find the mayor of Obobogo
Then bring him hither in chains.

Copyright 2010

CHILDREN AT CROSSROADS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Back to school is here again
But we fear about the rain
If there's no one to hold the guage
Let's all return to the first stage.


Copyright 2010

THE OPEN OVEN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The scores are uneven, grossly uneven
And the findings, skewed
So if all the chicken is stewed
There'll be nothing left to throw in the open oven.

Copyright 2010

GODS OF A DIFFERENT KIND

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The rain gods are not lake gods
The latter are Butake’s
And the former, ours ; simply ours
Just like ‘Simply the Best’.

So if you were to put anyone to the test
It wouldn’t be lakes without oars
No, it would be more gods wielding our little fates
With no chairmen for the Boards.

Copyright 2010

mercredi 8 septembre 2010

Mr. MARIOT'S LONE PENNY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga


Mr. Mariot was a Britishman who served as agric officer at the Agric Farm in Bambui where I grew up. At the time my late father, Francis Fan Mbah Tayong (popularly known as Fineboy) worked under him as nightwatchman of his residence and in 1958 when I was barely a year old, he took a colour snapshot of my father in his lovely guarden. I still have that photograph to this day, with my father standing handsomely in his traditional regalia, clasping his two long spears in his right hand and wearing a very accommodating smile.

What I remember most about Mr. Mariot was the fact that he once visited my father in our compound and when told the latter was plucking coffee somewhere in the compound, he went looking for him and found him. When they started conversing, he declined the offer of a chair and instead sat on the metalic board on which my father used to stand his headpan of warm water before bathing. I do not know whether my father's guest ever knew that was the purpose of the object. From the age of three I insisted my name was Mr. Mariot. Unfortunately for me, only one person in the family, my late aunt Ma Eli Anjeh Mbaku called me by that name
.


Gone are the rough times
Or so I hope
No more Sysiphus stone
Or shall you insts?

The very place of it is foreboding
Yet exploits are rare and dreams aboud
When our Mariot's yard boy returns
Even the crippled will walk.

Copyright 2010

MESSAGE FOR THE STATE COUNSEL

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

So, where's the bill?
For , once again,there goes Ousmane and his tray
What he doesn't know is that
From here to the State Counsel
It's shorter than
From here to the Vatican.

Copyright 2010

THE RAM AND THE DRINK

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Have you seen the ram?
I don't mean the rum
If it's good, buy us a drink
If not, we're all the brink.

Copyright 2010

PHATIC COMMUNION

(For Dr. Ntumngia Z.)

By Tikum Mbah Azonga


Think what you like
At the end of the day
When the chickens come home to roost
You'll eat your words.

Copyright 2010

THE SHORT YARD STICK

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We're not meek
Surely not
We're just disconsolate
But without the pound of flesh.

Copyright 2010

Dr ISAAC NDAMBI AKENJI’S FINAL HOME JOURNEY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga reports on the burial in Oshie, Momo Division, of a Cameroonian university don.

Dr. Ndambi Isaac Akenji, lecturer in history and archaeology at the University of Buea who died in that university town in August of this year, was buried in the family compound of his native Oshie village in Njikwa Sub Division of Momo Division in the North West Region on Saturday 28 August 2010. He was laid to rest in the family compound in Bereje Quarter at a ceremony heavily attended by colleagues from the University of Buea, especially those from the Department of History to which he belonged. Also in attendance were colleagues from other universities and family members from far and near. Dr. Ndambi died at the age of 50.

Ngamfon Awanga Z., a leading patriarch of the Oshie people, cast a retrospective glance at the life of the deceased: “Ndambi was a self-made man. In life he was very consistent and as a result he achieved his targeted goals. I give you an example: all along, he wanted to do a PhD. After working very, very hard, he did it and obtained the degree.” Prof Tafah Edokat, a Deputy Vice Chancellor at the University of Dschang, reacted to the rather premature demise of Dr. Ndambi through the medium of poetry. That is why the professor quoted Shakespeare extensively, while relating the quote to the fact that life is nothing but vanity and a dream that ends up by being short-lived, thus begging the question as to what is its real purpose in the first place.

For its part, the Department of History to which Dr. Ndambi’s Archaeology Unit was attached said: “Dr. Ndambi was very active in the Department. He played a particularly active role in the orientation of fresh students, giving them useful information that eased their understanding of archaeology. He would spend quality time counselling students in difficulties and giving them useful tips on how to sail through their studies in UB. He was always willing to give a helping hand when called to do so by hierarchy. Dr. Ndambi was at various times officer in charge of Long Essay, Departmental Socials and Buea University Society of History (BUSH). He was very hard working and conscientious in the discharge of his duties. He was known to pay attention to details which would otherwise have been glossed over by many others.”

In a written statement, the Faculty of Arts wondered aloud: “How long has Isaac Ndambi Akenji lived with us to be lying here today? How long? It is true that at the close of the semester, he was already in the throes of his malady. But illness is not death. So we had a right to be hopeful that he would get well and recover his place among us. Ndambi belonged among those characters in life, and there are a precious few of them, who leave you shivering in the cold when they depart: so powerful is their radiance. That same sensation seized us when we received the news; we are still under its spell.”

The Vice Chancellor of the University of Buea, Prof. Vincent P.K. Titanji in his own tribute said: “We are deeply hurt to have lost a person so firmly committed to the institution, one who has been here since the university was created, teaching, mentoring and doing research with all devotedness. His commitment to his job earned him respect from students who fondly called him ‘Pa Ndambi’. His friendliness with his colleagues earned him the appellation ‘Munchi Boy’ or ‘Abakwa Boy’. Dr Ndambi was a lively person, simple and easy going but stringent. He believed that if something had to be done, it had to be done well. The university community has lost a gem in Dr. Ndambi.”

Higher Education Minister Jacques Fame Ndongo regretted that the Department of History was losing too many of its lecturers: “When I received the news of Dr. Isaac Akenji Ndambi’s death on August 14, thorough sadness seized my heart. Only seven months ago Dr. Alexander Ajong, another young and promising lecturer of the same Department of History died in similar painful circumstances. That loss is still very fresh in our minds. And this one has come to confound our sadness. Death is taking a serious toll on young energies in the University of Buea. We can not but speak out our protestation.”

The minister quoted Shakespeare: “William Shakespeare reminds us that the world is a stage and we are actors on it. I imagine that like actors on a state we exit the world when we have played our part in it. Dr. Ndambi tried to extend his stay on the life stage but could not. He did all he could to overcome his ailment but the latter had the better of his determination. I want to thank all those colleagues, friends and family who assisted him during these trying moments. My special thanks go to Mrs. Ndambi and her children, the Ndambi family and the entire University of Buea community.”

Prior to being taken to Oshie for burial, Dr Ndambi was given academic honours by the University of Buea. This took place in Amphi 750, the largest lecture hall on campus. First, after removal of the corpse from the mortuary, colleagues of his were made to arrive on campus without robes, after which students and guests came in. Later, staff assembled in their robes at the Faculty of Arts Parking Lot. Then the convoy bearing the casket arrived and there was procession of academic staff with the casket accompanied by the University of Buea Marching Band right to Amphi 750. Once everyone was in the hall, academic honours began. The chaplains said a word of prayer, the biography of the deceased was read, after which tributes followed from students, the Head of Department, the Dean, the Vice Chancellor and the Representative of the Minister of Higher Education. Next came the viewing of the corpse and the final benediction given by the chaplains. After the academic honours, the casket was formally handed over to the family of Dr. Ndambi.

Dr. Ndambi Isaac Akenji was born in Oshie, Momo Division, on the 26th of January 1960 to Papa Abungwo Ndambi and Mama Theresia Ndambi. He was the second-born and a twin in a family of five. He studied at the Presbyterian Primary School in Oshie and the Presbyterian Teacher Training College (PTTC) in Batibo. He studied part time for the GCE Ordinary Level, while serving as a primary teacher, and later entered CCAST Bambili where he obtained his GCE Advanced Level papers. After that, he did the Grade One Teachers’ Certificate course at the Government Teacher Training College in Kumba. Later he enrolled at the University of Ibadan in Nigeria where he earned the Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in archaeology. His studies were capped in 2005 when he obtained a PhD in archaeology from the University of Yaounde I. He has to his credit a number of articles in national and international journals. Two years after bagging the PhD, he was promoted to the grade of lecturer.

Apart from serving as primary teacher in Bambili, Ndambi held other job positions prior to being recruited at the University of Buea. He was a probationer teacher in Ngwo, taught at the Frank Harcourt College in Kumba and was later appointed principal of the same institution. He also taught at Presbyterian High School, Batibo. On the social front, he was a member of several groups such as the Oshie Cultural and Development Association and the Oshie Students’ and Teachers’ Union. He was a devout Christian of the Presbyterian Church in Cameroon and a member of the Christian Men Fellowship (CMF) which he joined while in the Great Soppo Congregation of Buea before transferring to the Bomaka Congregation where he took up residence. Dr. Ndambi leaves behind his wife, five children and his mother (sadly), to mourn him. His loss certainly creates a vacuum not only at the University of Buea or in the higher education family in Cameroon, but also in the academic community worldwide.

Copyright 2010

mardi 7 septembre 2010

ANATOMICAL BRACES

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Braces are certainly not for the old
They’re for women with milk teeth
So whatever it is you were told
Forget about Pa Njong’s Form 3 phloem and pith.

Copyright 2010

STOOD OFF

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It’s not a forsaken axe
It’s just a beleaguered service head
So think nothing of your tons of crayfish
Unless you have feet of silver.

Copyright 2010

lundi 6 septembre 2010

WAS IT A HOAX?

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

(For Ni Philip Asongwed in Douala)

Yes, I accepted it as a joke, only a joke
But she took it seriously
The lines on her angelic face said it all
The shop windows were closed, shut tight
Doors were ajar, regardless of the killer ants
Up on the iron roof, the Queen Bee
Too busy counting her pieces of gold and silver
Took no notice of the duel below.

I accepted because the Fon’s men meant to stroke
The horse’s back and recover the cowries sold wrongly
Never before had anyone dreamed Mokom in his fall
Would go down fighting because he knew he was right.
I knew too late they lied the book was Kant’s.
So, unwillingly but only as a joke I accepted to be
At the palace gate instead of the bank of the river
At least, I knew our Lord could never stoop so low.

Copyright 2010

THOU ART LORD

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

(For the Rev Achowah Umeni)

O King of the entire universe
Let your love flow down in reverse
Thou art the most nigh
Thou who knowest our remotest thoughts
Forgive us our torts
Thou art our strength
For to thee we pay no rent
So stand behind us
So that on D-Day we can come without fuss.

Copyright 2010

_____________________________________________________________

This poem, dedicated to my friend and brother, the Rev Achowah Umeni, currently Communication Secretary of the Presbyterian Church in Cameroon (PCC), can be found in the collection entitled TOMATOES FOR FOUR, published by FAMBATA in Bamenda in 2009, thanks to a grant from the Cameroonian Miniustry of Culture.Author: Tikum Mbah Azonga

THE GOOD FIGHT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

(For the Revelation Theatre, Yaounde)


I saw the star-spangled sky
This Monday night here at Chapelle Obili
Burst open with its heart of gold held high
And all the angels one by one chanting the homily

In this life where a year can be a second
I saw mum lift her wings
And flapping them majestically like a frond
She flew towards Jesus with no strings.

Unknown to her perhaps, where she now resides
Her children's family of a Revelation
Right in her parlour reveal her motherly strides
And bless her for that life without extinction.

Copyright 2010

_____________________________________________________

This poem can be found in the collection entitled TOMATOES FOR FOUR, published by Fambata Publishers, Bamenda in 2009 with a grant made available by the Cameroonian Ministry of Culture. Author: Tikum Mbah Azonga

LOVE NEST

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

No? I Won’t stand back
Why should I?
So early
And in such slimy wetness?

I’m not a hack
Nor am I the king bee
That’s why I love you so dearly
The Lord is my witness.

Copyright 2010

RIGHT TO REPLY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Shall you strike back?
Or shall you like the sad widow
Turn the other cheek?
Lazy man, talk to me
Or are you deaf?
If so, how shall you take your share of the cake?
I mean the booty.

Copyright

MES COULEURS DE CAMELEON

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Je suis toujours déchargé et abruti
Mon âme est en deuil
Et mes ancêtres, sidérés
Comme le feu sur le torse
Je vivrai
Je ne mourrai pas.
Alors, tu n’as encore rien vu.


Copyright 2010

CHANGEMENT CLIMATIQUE

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Moi je ne change jamais
Non, je me métamorphose car
Je ne suis ni amorphe, ni coagulé.

Alors si tu veux goûter de mon lait
Transforme-toi d’abord en avatar
Et apporte-moi tous les poulets congelés.

Copyright 2010

UN MOT DU FOND

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Je ne suis pas commerçant
Mais je suis grand
Si tu veux m’amadouer
Cherche d’abord Monsieur le Conseiller.


Copyright 2010

FRANCIS NKWAIN THE SAVIOUR

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Did you condition her eclipse
Or did you just count the missing buttons?
If it wasn’t for Francis Nkwain’s epistle
The centre wouldn’t have held
And all the buttons would have been lost.

Copyright 2010

THE CAPITALIST PILOT

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

He claims to be a pilot
But what kind of pilot is he
When he has neither winter coat
Nor shirt money, nor Karl Marx’s bible?

Copyright 2010

HERCULEAN SANDWICHES

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

He sat like the deposed king
Hanging his boots rather loosely
And tolerating no criticism
What he didn’t know was that
The bells had already tolled
And even the very youngest, all of them
Were already off to a flying start.

Copyright 2010

dimanche 5 septembre 2010

THE PREMIER'S MEA CULPA

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The lamp lit
Isn’t for Joseph Newit
It’s the end time frontispiece
Of the novel the beleaguered premier sent his niece.

Copyright 2010

TROUBLES CHEZ MONSEIGNEUR

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Le problème est-il résolu ?
Ou s’est-il dégradé davantage ?
Si l’évêque entend ça
Encore une fois
On est fini.

As-tu oublié
Les linceuls volés
Le sacrement violé
Et les fresques voilées ?
Tu dors, mon frère ?
Tu dors au premier banc ?

Copyright 2010

AUTANT DE QUESTIONS

(A Madame Corbin, mon prof d’Analyse Morpho-Syntaxique à l’Université Charles de Gaulle, dite l’Université de Lille III)

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga


J’envoie par quelle agence alors ?
Loum ou Tobin ?
Et sans le colis de Madame Corbin ?
Comment cela ?
Que lui dirai-je ?
Des mensonges ?
Encore des mensonges ?

BIJOU DE SANG

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Envoie donc l’argent
Mille promesses, mille mensonges ?
Et tu te dis homme ?
N’as-tu pas honte ?
Copyright 2010

L'ARGENT DE LA HONTE

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Envoie donc l’argent
Mille promesses, mille mensonges ?
Et tu te dis homme ?
N’as-tu pas honte ?

Copyright 2010

lLE CHEMIN DE MADAME

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Madame est là ?
Ou est-elle encore sortie ?
A-t-elle pris la sortie de secours ?
Ou le chemin qui mène en enfer ?

Copyright 2010

MESURE DE PRECAUTION

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Il était là hier
Exigeant le tiers
De peur qu’il soit écarté
Il a léché toutes les cuillères salées.

Copyright 2010

CONTRARIE

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Tu n’es pas contente?
Alors, vas lui dire
Si tu ignores que j’ai les dents de cire
C’est que tu demandes une condamnation plus ardente.

Copyright 2010

LE DERNIER JOUR

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Fais tes comptes
Jet te dis bien
Fais tes comptes
C’est le nouveau lien.

Lorsque le seigneur reviendra
Alors, même le gueux marchera
Seul le récalcitrant soupirera
Et en plus, marchera à tâtons.

Copyright 2010

A BEE IN THE CHOIR

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Shall the choir girls sing
Or shall they allow the bee to sting?
If again they’re late
Then what they’ll receive is mail of hate.

Copyright 2010

MID NIGHT WATERS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The cock has crowed
So, there’s nothing we can do
Except go and pooh
Only then can the mid night waters flow.

Copyright 2010

BACK DOOR MAN

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

He crept back in
The lout!
He thinks he’s so stout
Well, make him wait until his dad wears thin.

Copyright 2010

CHAPLAINS AT SACRED HEART COLLEGE

By tikum Mbah Azonga

Our good old chaplain didn’t own a horn
But he was called Mac Mahon
A British man all over
He was proud, snobbish and arrogant
Standoffish, unapproachable and highly critical.

Sometimes he was for me a thorn
But he also shared fun
He was knowledgeable, thorough and clever
Yes, but why were his GCE scores so stagnant
Until Father Terry came and made them more topical?

Copyright 2010

samedi 4 septembre 2010

COCK AND BULL STORY

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

We all stood on the bridge long enough
So don't listen to them
Despite the hurricane
We stood our ground.

After the tempest
Came the raz-de-marée
They certainly weren't there
So, don't believe a word of what they say.

Copyright 2010

BAD SPIRITS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

It's not the first time
And it won't be the ast
Even when the landlady fasts
See how they taunt us and offer us common lime.


Copyright 2010

SEALS OF FEAR

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

No, the ones you sent are stil here
Their seals refused to open
But if a good Samaritan had put some in the oven
Then no one would have been struck by fear.


Copyright 2010

POINTLESS MOVE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Why did you do that?
Just for fun?
Now that you're on the run
Who'll pay the VAT?

Copyright 2010

THE FAR END

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

The end is far from near
Because life is dear
That’s why when Pual Biya coughs
Fru Ndi sends for his cuffs.

Copyright 2010

MONICA'S MEN


By Tikum Mbah Azonga


We’re tale-bearing buddies
But we journey without Monica
When our paths cross; we gloat
We they don’t; we purr.

Copyright 2010

vendredi 3 septembre 2010

NUESTRO PRESIDENTE

Por Tikum Mbah Azonga

Es una realidad
Ricardo, idol del pueblo
Es un excelente jefe de estado
Su rol es vital para nuestro pais.

El presidente comprende muy bien su gente
Sus necesidades
Y de manera general la conducta humana
Eso es verdad.

Con el Presidente Ricardo
Hay mucha construccion
Construccion de escuelas primarias
De centros de educacion
De institutos corectivos.

Lo que es mas extraordinario es
La creacion de muchas maternidades
De miles clinicas
De dispensarios
Y también de iglesia.

En nuestro pais de hoy
Hay muchas cosas muy nuevas
Entonces, que queremos mas?
Gracias Senor Presidente!

Copyright 2010

LAS CHICAS DE HOY

Por Tikum Mbah Azonga

Las chicas de hoy
Mujeres bellas, bonitas, tubias, morenas
Fuman
Fuman mucho
Fuman por la mañana
Manana por la mañana
Fuman por la tarde
Fuman por la noche.

¿Porqué?
Si tienen hambre
Fumar no es comer
Si tienen sed
Fumar no es beber
Entonces, ¿porque fuman tan?
Que lástima!

Copyright 2010

HOMBRES Y MUJERES

Por Tikum Mbah Azonga

Todos los hombres del mundo
Estan pensando que las mujeres no comprenden
Pero los hombres todos
No tienen mucho tiempo para las mujeres.

Cuando el hombre qiero comer algo
Tiene que buscar su esposa o su madre
Cuanda tiene ganas de beer algo
Tiene que llamar la esposa o la madre.
Porque?

Copyright 2010

MI CASA HOY Y MANANA

Tikum Mbah Azonga

No quiero regresar en casa hoy
Mi casa es muy lejos de las playas dónde viviré
El año que viene
Hasta el mes de marzo
Sin Júpiter en forma de color
Sin calendario gregoriano
Sin lectura de poemas.

Iré en mi casa verano
Cerca de casa de Juan
Cerca de casa de mi profesor
Dónde hay la escuela del pueblo
La pelicula de Rodriguez
Muchos espacios de vente de camisas
Y tambien muchos y muchos transacciones y acuerdos de negocios .
Y el famoso cantante de Julio Inglesias.

Copyright 2010

NUESTRO PROBLEMA

Tikum Mbah Azonga

Nunca es tarde
Nunca.
Sobre todo
Si deseamos vivir en paz
¿Pero deseamos realmente vivir en paz?
¿Podemos vivir en paz si es posible?
Depende, porque aunque las vida es dura
Hay todovia unas cosas que marchan bien
Mas o menos
Entonces, el problema no es dios
Son nosotros humanos
Para hacerlo, tenemos que escuchar la voz de paz
La voz de Jesús .

Copyright 2010

LOS REGALOS DE LA MADRE

Tikum Mbah Azonga

¿Y para qué?
No te imagines que
¿Un dia podemos tambien cantar?
Creo que si
No es imposible
En estos momentos
Vamos todos a comprar regalos
Para la madre.
No te olvides.

Copyright 2010

SHADOWS THAT SINK

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Shadows are a bad thing
They can raise you up on a pedestal
Then the next minute you're six deep
And everyone laments.

It's nothing like David's sling
But something like Eves's last petal
Or even Adam in his profound sleep
That's why it's only the Almighty who really cements.

Copyright 2010

jeudi 2 septembre 2010

LOS REGALOS DE LA MADRE

Tikum Mbah Azonga

¿Y para qué?
No te imaginas que
?Un dia podemos tambien cantar?
Creo que si
No es imposible
En estos momentos
Tenemos que comprar regalos
La madre está esperando.
Hay que comprar ahora los regalos
Vamos!.

Copyright 2010

mercredi 1 septembre 2010

THE MOON THAT GOD MADE

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

(For Charles Sama, the microphone gadfly)



They all left early this morning
Taking with them axle, blanket and cat
They left no forwarding address
But they left with a smile.

I`ve just heard the neighbour whispering to my wife
That they were spotted in Biwongbane yesterday pursuing a rat
I wonder what happened to the head dress
Will they go as far as the Nile?

Copyright 2010

ONE WAY TRIP

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

They all left early this morning
Taking with them axle, blanket and cat
They left no forwarding address
But they left with a smile.

I`ve just heard the neighbour whispering to my wife
That they were spotted in Biwongbane yesterday pursuing a rat
I wonder what happened to the head dress
Will they go as far as the Nile?


Copyright 2010

MY SECRET WISH FOR YOU

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Nights of endless distress
Days of nothing but a no return mistress
That`s what I long for you sorely
And that`s what you`ll get daily.

Single handed, you sold the printing press
And bluntly rejected any redress
For a lawyer, you chose dubious Faure Menget
Not knowing that would all lead to nowhere but Tibet.

Copyright 2010

THE TROUBLE WITH WORDS

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Words are a dangerous companion
Although also a necessary evil
They`re like a shaft without an anvil
They can flatter, but also auction you to the next companion.

Copyright 2010

CELLE QUE J`AIME

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Mon amour est une simple fleur
Mais à double tranchant
Elle est une ancienne figure de discours douce et lisse
Son visage de gamine est de toute couleur
Son souffle coupé, assourdissant
Et son regard glacé a pour nom Chris l`Infirmière.

Copyright 2010

ENTRE TEMPS ET ESPACE

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Le temps et l`espace
C`est identique
C`est bonnet blanc et blanc bonnet.

Mais seulement le temps est une rare race
Et l`espace, une sorte de vieille cantique
Tous les deux forment un beau cornet.

Copyright 2010

IMMEUBLE PAR DESTINATION

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Je ne fuis pas mon destin
Car je suis festin
Le jour où je serai de retour
Tu ne feras plus de détours.

Copyright 2010

ORDRE DIVIN

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Ne te retourne pas
Jésus est là
Sache qu`il n`y a aucun roi
Aucun, qui ne soit également serviteur
Alors, ne te retourne pas
Sauf si tu as des bouquets
Colorés, bénis, sacrés et déifiés.

Copyright 2010

RECHERCHE

Par Tikum Mbah Azonga

Mort ou vivant
Tu paieras
Tu ne peux plus rien voiler
Tremble, si tu veux
Refuse de manger, si tu veux
Refuse meme de me parler, si tu veux
A la fin, tu paieras.

Copyright 2010