THE BISHOPS`S TOOLBAR

By Tikum Mbah Azonga

Our bishop is a strange man in deed
When he rises each morning
He asks for his toolbar
Before he says his prayers
He asks for his toolbar
After prayers
He sends for the other toolbar
For he has two in deed, just in case.

Before he goes out, he grabs both
Then while out
He places one toolbar on his office table
And sends the other to the Vicar General
If he realizes he`s at mass without his tool bars
He halts the service until
Both are brought him
Then placing one on either side of the altar
He recommences mass
After mass
He orders that both tool bars be placed in his car
During office time
He removes the tool bars and puts them on his table
Sometimes when someone meets the bishop
And says: " Good morning, my Lord!"
In response, the bishop says:" Have you seen my tool bars?"

One day at mass
During the homily to be more precise
Monseigneur recommended that every christian
Should own and carry a tool bar
But then one Sunday after mass
The Parish chairman walked up to him and asked
To the hearing of all who were there:
" My Lord, may I know what is so special about the tool bar
The tool bar is neither the crucifix nor the rosary nor holy water.?"
Furious, the bishop retorted:
" Pius, I din`t expect such a question from a man like you.
By the way, can someone fetch me the parish priest?"

Later, when the bishop was filling out a form for Rome
He encountered the question: "recent innovations"
The man of God wrote:"I am implementing the tool bar principle"
The Holy Father queried him:
"Monseigneur, please, what is the tool bar principle?"
The bishop replied:"The tool bar is the most modern principle
In the Catholic church of today"
The bishop even added: " You know that very well, Holy Father."
Shocked by this nascent dogma
The pope recalled the bishop to Rome for counseling
Today the bishop despite his wisdom and large following
Spends his time at the Vatican
Counting the pope`s speech pages.

Copyright 2010